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  • Town/Country : League City, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2259
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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mysteryguy3039's page activity

Visits<b>Hamden824</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 1:54am<b>Sierra120</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:59am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:05am<b>SkyGuy32</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:47am<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:07am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:17pm<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:08pm<b>kakabloom</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:28am<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Ninjahiga</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:44am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:52am<b>Bailey12349</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:18pm<b>_natalie8_</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:51pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:49pm<b>NigelHD</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:06pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:28am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 2:26am<b>CookieStealer</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:29pm

Fucked!<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 3:07pm<b>Bailey12349</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:44pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:49am

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mysteryguy3039's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML

by Cow lover / 10/12/2016 at 10:13am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

by The_Life / 10/12/2016 at 9:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Geek

Today, I was at work and a guy walked up holding his phone with the camera facing me. He then looks up at me and says, "I'm not taking a picture of you. I'm just trying to catch a Pokemon." And here I was thinking that I looked nice today. FML

by FML / 07/11/2016 at 5:16pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2016 at 3:58am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Kids

Today, I had an employee come in 20 minutes late with the excuse, "There's a Pokemon gym across the street!" FML

by polemania / 07/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States / Work

Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML

by PurplePanda_1927 / 07/07/2016 at 10:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

by toto13660 / 06/29/2016 at 4:10pm / Animals

Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML

by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of two months and I are in completely different points in our lives. She ambushed me with ideas of having kids, getting married and being together forever. Currently, my biggest concern is passing the tenth grade. FML

by NordicNathan / 03/14/2016 at 12:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was using my headset while gaming, and another player couldn't stop laughing at the hilariously high-pitched voice I was putting on. He thought I was mocking the pre-pubescent squeakers on our team. Nope, that's just my natural voice. FML

by Anonymous / 02/26/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

by Emma / 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

by FalloutScrolls / 11/13/2015 at 9:49am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2015 at 8:34am / Love