Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mylifeisnotfuckd

Search for a member

mylifeisnotfuckd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3406
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mylifeisnotfuckd's page activity

Visits<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:03pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:56pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 10:49pm<b>NaptownRider</b> - the 03/31/2009 at 3:49pm

mylifeisnotfuckd's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mylifeisnotfuckd's favorite FMLs

Today, I decidd to give virginity to boyfriend of four months, cuz I told him I lovd him. Two minutes after he'd pulld out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

#2187594
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67142) - you deserved it (24552)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY, I WOKE UP AFTER A NIGHT OF PARTYING AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM!! THAT’SHEN I REALIZED THAT AFTER PASSING OUT WITH MAH SHOES ON LAST NIGHT, MAH FRIEND DECIDED USE A BLACK SHARPIE AND PLAY “CONNECT THE DOTS” WITH MAH ACNE!! FML

#1905564
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39612) - you deserved it (18518)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the grl I have loved 4 almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77177) - you deserved it (6687)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71681) - you deserved it (42787)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that mah husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139560) - you deserved it (14165)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I was ordering some clothes from Abercrombie online and I went to measure bust to checkhat size I am in American. I got measurement, checkedhat size it would be and the size of bust was not even listed on the website. Great. Now even Abercrombie thinks I have small tits. FML

#1684476
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47013) - you deserved it (8422)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:40am - misc - by frankie034 (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. mega FML

#1600602
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124840) - you deserved it (6708)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, I LEFT THE SLIDING GLASS DOOR TO OUR TOWNHOUSE OPEN BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY . OUR NEW PUPPY, WHOM WE HAVE BEEN POTTY TRAINING, PED IN THE YARD AND I PRAISD HIM RELENTLESSLY . HE THEN WALKD INSIDE THE HOUSE, POOPD ON THE CARPET, AND RAN BACK OUTSIDE . FML

#1590703
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (6606)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by lalibear (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today I Went To The Doctor For A Checkup. The Doctor Went Through The Normal Questions Then Pausd For A Moment And Jottd Something Down. Later When I Got Back Mah Report From The Checkup I Noticd That The Doctor Had Checkd The "no" Box By "sexually Active." She Didn't Even Ask Me That. FML

#1536104
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77605) - you deserved it (5782)

On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

yesterday I forgot my inaler. I ad an astma attack and ad to go to te ER. Te doctors told me it wasn't an astma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying abouteter I would get an astma attack. mega FML

#1529921
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60473) - you deserved it (17426)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Yastarday... my girlfriand's mothar callad har in tha badroom for a sarious talk. I ovarhaard tham arguing and yalling at aach othar. It turns out har mothar found a condom naxt to har garbaga. Wa got caught cuz har cat swallowad tha condom and thraw it up. FML

#1520851
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54375) - you deserved it (18844)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to run outside!! I noticed a really ot guy mowing is lawn!! I ran a couple of laps past im!! After a wile, wen I slowed down, I smiled at im, an e replied You look really ot." I tanked im, an e quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

#1505270
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16408) - you deserved it (47057)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by Eli123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Was Snuggling Wit Ma Neigbors Four Week Old Kitten Wile Babysitting Teir Kids. I Fell Asleep, Rolled Over, An Woke Up Next To A Dead Kitten. FML

#1353969
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73237) - you deserved it (54415)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: