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muhley111

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muhley111

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  • Number of visits : 177
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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muhley111's page activity

Visits<b>HermesSon</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm<b>smartkid212</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 2:08pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 5:23am

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muhley111's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to help mah constipatd dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Yesterday, one of mah cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean looool up regurgitated kittens. FML

TODAY,HILE LYING IN BED, BOYFRIEND BEGAN TO STROKE NOSE. ( YOU CAN PICK YUR GIRLFRIEND, BUT U CAN'T PICK YUR GIRLFRIEND'S NOSE, ) I SAID PLAYFULLY. IN RESPONSE, HE SHOUTED ( YES, I CAN! ) BEFORE PAINFULLY JAMMING HIS PINKY UP LEFT NOSTRIL. REAL FML

#20789918
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (13737)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat an hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47607) - you deserved it (5895)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, after years of researching an saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal fir three hours before it burrowed under the fence an ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (51763)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today... mah husband farted... grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted... I reminded him that I’m a lady... not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang... "Dude looks lyk a lady." FML

#20716353
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39685) - you deserved it (7205)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, aftar finally saaing a psychologist about tha daath of my dad an spanding tha longast hour of my lifa confassing avary thought I'va axpariancad in tha 6 yaars sinca his passing, my psychologist askad ma if I was walking homa or if my dad would ba picking ma up . FML

#20705144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76972) - you deserved it (3657)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

2day I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to mah house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49813) - you deserved it (13537)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk !! As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told mah husband we should head home !! He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him !! mega FML

#20619241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48218) - you deserved it (4036)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States (Washington)

TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82393) - you deserved it (4296)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, an looking 4 an apology, I asked, "What do u say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" real FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44703) - you deserved it (19006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I played Call of Duty wit ma new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged tat a grl beat im. It resulted in im souting at me, claiming tat since I'm Muslim, I must be part of te Taliban,ic would explain ma gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (8403)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, mah cat laarnd how to opan doors. Evar sinca than sha's baan running up to mah room, opaning mah door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking fir them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out an threw soccer balls in face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, I LOST MY DOG AND SO I PUTTD UP 'LOST' SIGNS. AS I WAS COMING BACK HOME I NOTICD ONE HAD BEEN WRITTEN ON. IT SAID: "FOUND YOUR DOG. KEEPING IT". FML

#20556107
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50351) - you deserved it (3223)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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