Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

muhhgv

Offline (41 minutes ago) | Search for a member

muhhgv

8Fucked!

muhhgvmuhhgv
  • Town/Country : Browns Bay, New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 August 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 97
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About muhhgv : I spend most of my time on the Internet or dying my hair or fixing my wig. I love Harry Potter, supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock. and I'm currently making (not writing, making) a book for my friend.

muhhgv's page activity

Visits<b>Semperfi92340</b> - 7 hours ago<b>balboa_2</b> - yesterday at 9:19pm<b>muarif</b> - yesterday at 3:08pm<b>rgarz1</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:05pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:13am<b>chris9O</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:20am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:19am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:18am<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:36pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:03am<b>PDSot</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:29am<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:52am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:16pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:43pm<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:11am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:05am<b>Savage_Catalyst</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:27pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:56pm

Fucked!<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:20am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:30am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:09am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:16am<b>Savage_Catalyst</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:35am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:52am<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:14am<b>Mattyboy123</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:46am

muhhgv's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of muhhgv's badges

muhhgv's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

#21419713
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26523) - you deserved it (5683)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:58pm - kids - by Cammi0 - United States

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33026) - you deserved it (4245)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (2967)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (36805)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (3961)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (11483)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (8733)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32214) - you deserved it (8316)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15009) - you deserved it (79315)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (34668)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52881) - you deserved it (2331)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a Starbucks drive-thru and was grabbing a hot coffee when I got rear ended and my car hit the vehicle in front of me which deployed my airbag. Hot coffee can really burn when it hits your face at a high rate of speed. FML

#3875219
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49492) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - health - by coffeeburns (man) - United States

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

#3642198
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12191) - you deserved it (78148)

On 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by Blackberry (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (275907)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

#1012847
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13166) - you deserved it (74746)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: