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msmidnight1965

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msmidnight1965
  • Town/Country : Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 677
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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I never take things to heart

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Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240536) - you deserved it (36561)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

#250132
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70638) - you deserved it (4291)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

#185358
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81887) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

#172580
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50924) - you deserved it (14378)

On 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by Ashley J. (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

#45880
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35733) - you deserved it (2307)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by kolgate (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26696) - you deserved it (2870)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42094) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42094) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (55620)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16265) - you deserved it (26796)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5917) - you deserved it (57125)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)



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