msmidnight1965

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msmidnight1965

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1351
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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msmidnight1965's page activity

Visits<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:24pm<b>dada124</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 2:25pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:45am<b>arauzfernando1</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:53am<b>dno79</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 6:02am<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:27pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:27pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:33pm<b>hoesandfuckboys</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:55am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:32pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:51pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:14pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:02pm<b>ParadoxOfNames</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>alice192823</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:52pm<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:51am

Fucked!<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:27pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:14am<b>NoOrdinaryNZer</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:22pm

msmidnight1965's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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msmidnight1965's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

by bopbop / 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

by MacBook / 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

by Yulia / 03/09/2009 at 6:09am / United States (California) / Intimacy