Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

msmidnight1965

Search for a member

msmidnight1965

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1093
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

msmidnight1965's page activity

Visits<b>colinabi</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:59pm<b>_Domster_46</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Becca34</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:55am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:23pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:12pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:19pm<b>nicktrelos</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:21pm<b>itsb_freed</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:38pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:41pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:52am<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:35pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:19am<b>darkmatou</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:38am<b>usaidwhat82</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:51pm<b>alice_in_mordor</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:52pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:49pm<b>username2019</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:52pm

msmidnight1965's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of msmidnight1965's badges

msmidnight1965's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68882) - you deserved it (3989)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

#1933237
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79843) - you deserved it (3718)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17147) - you deserved it (95456)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77837) - you deserved it (8617)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (280817) - you deserved it (17793)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (47324)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
706 comments

I agree, your life sucks (741077) - you deserved it (56812)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
700 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37450) - you deserved it (506769)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114550) - you deserved it (8670)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185222) - you deserved it (32612)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (221885) - you deserved it (29180)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
557 comments

I agree, your life sucks (526162) - you deserved it (35387)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277457) - you deserved it (50524)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

#250132
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76962) - you deserved it (4855)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: