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msmidnight1965

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msmidnight1965
  • Town/Country : Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 686
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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msmidnight1965's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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msmidnight1965's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33771) - you deserved it (8313)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

#16201073
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (7855)

On 05/16/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by bugnose (woman) -

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

#15962941
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (3645)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

#15920978
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

#15791793
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (7033)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (5826)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

#15306672
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (9143)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by alex - United States

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

#15273701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (4044)

On 03/11/2011 at 9:11am - health - by Pain_intolerant - Canada

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

#15266728
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (4009)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (2888)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67086) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31312) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

#14618568
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (6419)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

#14242273
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you deserved it (6496)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

#14208425
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (8986)

On 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm - animals - by fufu_mutt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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