Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

msmidnight1965

Search for a member

msmidnight1965
  • Town/Country : Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 670
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

msmidnight1965's last visitors

PotterHead_DHcjwayyEmmiAnneduckduckfuckdilssaaaemmingle

msmidnight1965's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of msmidnight1965's badges

msmidnight1965's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (7693)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3846)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

#17889211
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (7006)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm - love - by bastard magnet - United States (California)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (4308)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

#17845036
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (4807)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2341)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9596) - you deserved it (75390)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (4042)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

#16395654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32421) - you deserved it (5331)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13509) - you deserved it (53467)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26927) - you deserved it (3614)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

#16320641
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (3210)

On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: