Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

msmidnight1965

Search for a member

msmidnight1965
  • Town/Country : Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 671
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

msmidnight1965's last visitors

PotterHead_DHcjwayyEmmiAnneduckduckfuckdilssaaaemmingle

msmidnight1965's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of msmidnight1965's badges

msmidnight1965's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

#19460705
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (2411)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:15am - love - by prego - United States (Michigan)

Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12684) - you deserved it (1108)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (1992)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (15106)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (2440)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (28623)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
273 comments

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (5214)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30060) - you deserved it (6067)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (2054)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (12391)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (4927)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (5849)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (2712)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: