msmidnight1965

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msmidnight1965

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1361
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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msmidnight1965's page activity

Visits<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:24pm<b>dada124</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 2:25pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 10:45am<b>arauzfernando1</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:53am<b>dno79</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 6:02am<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:27pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:27pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:33pm<b>hoesandfuckboys</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:55am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:32pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:51pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:14pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:02pm<b>ParadoxOfNames</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>alice192823</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:52pm<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:51am

Fucked!<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:27pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:14am<b>NoOrdinaryNZer</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:22pm

msmidnight1965's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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msmidnight1965's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

by squeltorey / 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

by Just Me / 07/26/2012 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

by Mouhahaa / 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm / France / Love

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

by EyeSeeYou / 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

by prego / 04/13/2012 at 10:15am / United States (Michigan) / Love