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ms_fancypants

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 7:59pm) | Search for a member

ms_fancypants

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2268
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About ms_fancypants : No description.

ms_fancypants's page activity

Visits<b>HopeDawn</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:01pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:59am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:23pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:34pm<b>LeDaniel</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:43pm

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ms_fancypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

#21500134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (2636)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (2319)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a drugs test at work. Later, I found out it was my fiancé's mother who called our hotline. Her reason: I work till 6 pm, her "baby" should eat before that, but he can't cook, so I should quit my job. He is 35. And he thinks I should apologize for upsetting her at dinner. FML

#21452641
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (2572)

On 08/06/2015 at 7:16am - work - by Dobche (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (4619)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

#21430988
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (3527)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:16am - love - by imblue42 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (14051)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (2985)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31486) - you deserved it (2853)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (3012)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31789) - you deserved it (3537)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46697) - you deserved it (4293)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47080) - you deserved it (4417)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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