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mrjamjama66's FML badges
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mrjamjama66's favorite FMLs
Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 11:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Violet / 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
by kaheera4 / 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML
by fuck you with a bacon cock / 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Moray) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML
by RIP_Nose / 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids
by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love
by TetrisMaster / 11/24/2013 at 7:30am / Australia / Health
Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML
by Thors_Hammer9999 / 11/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper.… Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely… Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know…