mpj13

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mpj13

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3126
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About mpj13 : Wanna see me run to that rock and back?
Wanna see me do it again?

mpj13's page activity

Visits<b>Jroman4</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:45pm<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 7:59am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 12:53pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:49pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:44am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:13pm<b>ramonyup1</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Mathew1994</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 5:48am<b>AlyKinks35</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:18am<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:20pm<b>notlovely</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:17am<b>Majrdestroy</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 9:35pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:34am<b>justaguynl</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:38pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Azpy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:18pm<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:51pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:44pm

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mpj13's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

by Barking Mad / 08/04/2013 at 7:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

by help / 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

by justgivemethed / 04/25/2013 at 3:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous