mozeltov

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mozeltov

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2113
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mozeltov : I'm awesome and don't have time to fill out these about me descriptions, and yes, that picture is of me

mozeltov's page activity

Visits<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 1:09pm<b>ajgoetz15</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:15am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:25pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:28pm<b>unluckycharms69</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:44pm<b>elsie23</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:28pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:11pm<b>JamesonA</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 12:39am<b>DatBacon28</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 4:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:56pm<b>sulvan182</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:28am<b>54MU31</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:31am<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:31am<b>Mezzacarina</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:19am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:48pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:56pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:42am

mozeltov's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of mozeltov's badges

mozeltov's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

by WetWalking / 03/21/2013 at 9:31am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

by lolo / 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:22am / Germany (Sachsen) / Transportation

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

by unexpected_failure / 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

by Username / 08/04/2010 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, a girl on her cellphone cut me off. A second later, another person behind me on a cellphone rear ended me. Her excuse was, "I'm sorry, you weren't there a minute ago!" FML

by drivencrazy / 07/06/2010 at 12:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation