motor

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Offline (the 07/30/2016 at 12:55am)

motor

0Fucked!

motor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1087
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About motor : I love Great Danes.

motor's page activity

Visits<b>mcgshawn</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 5:12pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 9:28am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Aurellius</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:40am<b>RhineBl</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Cindale_87</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 5:34am<b>Coeliacchic93</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 2:34pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:30pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:54pm<b>TigerMastan</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 1:36pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:27pm<b>missinvisible94</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 11:37am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:02pm<b>bnymets1</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 8:30am<b>Orchard</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:46pm<b>OneLittleAdditio</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 8:35pm

motor's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of motor's badges

motor's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

by Why Me? / 01/31/2013 at 4:07am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

by lifebecrazed / 01/17/2013 at 11:57am / Work

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

by fucking mafia or what?? / 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

by FlyingFist / 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

by Helen / 11/10/2012 at 5:15am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

by Anonimo / 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm / Italy (Sardegna) / Miscellaneous