About mordecaiandrigby : Hi, I'm an opinionated person. Although I'm usually nice, I'm pretty sarcastic. Judging my number of unconfirmed FMLs, apparently my life sucks, but not enough to get an FML confirmed.
mordecaiandrigby's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
mordecaiandrigby's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
by konichiwa / 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by looloogirl / 11/01/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
by timmynotjimmy / 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML
by annie00016 / 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
by Oops / 10/24/2009 at 9:14am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
by ashleyramsay / 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by Jessica / 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/19/2009 at 3:10am / Indonesia (Jawa Timur) / Miscellaneous
by AdriBAMF / 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML
by JoJo / 10/17/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Iowa) / Health
by sighoutloud / 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML
by artiemilano / 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by screwed.over / 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML
by poorman / 10/09/2009 at 7:22pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Money
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…