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Offline (the 11/22/2015 at 8:01am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 681
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About montanab : Hi

montanab's page activity

Visits<b>ssweis1</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 6:06pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 9:58pm<b>jsan727</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:15pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 5:31pm<b>sagarhablani</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 4:09am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 7:59pm<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:49pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:04am<b>belindailene</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:09pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:24pm<b>DavidMcClain</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:42am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:34am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:47am<b>frostedfoster</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:00pm<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:39am<b>codytallica</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:29am<b>Dpac7</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:10am

Fucked!<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:58am<b>jsan727</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:15pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:26am<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:49am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:47am<b>Dpac7</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:35am

montanab's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of montanab's badges

montanab's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28066) - you deserved it (7868)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (3408)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36662) - you deserved it (5800)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34258) - you deserved it (16512)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (10099)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (15954)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37448) - you deserved it (4974)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36983) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (3208)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44194) - you deserved it (7302)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (15240)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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