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montanab

Offline (yesterday at 2:46pm) | Search for a member

montanab

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 447
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About montanab : No, I do not have kik.
Yes, I have snapchat... But you must be nice.
Instagram username is ' montanabbb ' (very original, I know) :-)

montanab's page activity

Visits<b>DavidMcClain</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:42am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:34am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:47am<b>frostedfoster</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:00pm<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:39am<b>codytallica</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:29am<b>Dpac7</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:10am<b>1nertia</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:57pm<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:24am<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 4:01am<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:52pm<b>danokeeffe</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:48am<b>koolkidd88</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:40am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:42am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:11pm<b>WickedBooger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:46am<b>sydspears3</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 9:03pm

Liked!<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:47am<b>Dpac7</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:35am

montanab's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of montanab's badges

montanab's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

#21374172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11) - you deserved it (7092)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (3028)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34419) - you deserved it (5136)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (15151)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (9424)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (14494)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (4399)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35606) - you deserved it (4030)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (2934)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38871) - you deserved it (5892)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (13778)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML



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