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  • Town/Country : Perth, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1114
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About montanab : .

montanab's page activity

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Fucked!<b>knuckleheadknock</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 5:56am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 6:00am<b>Contiinuous</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 3:40am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 3:46am<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 10:52pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 9:24am<b>Rodgerdodger17</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:27am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 5:21pm<b>A_Wilson0311</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:53pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 7:48pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 9:25pm<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:41pm<b>diesel1089</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:47am<b>infernno</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:49am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:41pm<b>Mattyjay13</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:23am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 10:18am

montanab's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of montanab's badges

montanab's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

by cutiecuppiecakez / 02/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

by thecarisfine / 03/14/2015 at 12:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

by AOart1st / 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm / United States / Work

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Love

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

by Perdito_Coño / 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

by FANZZY / 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous