About monsterblonde : Just a happy girl who loves writing and various other things like video games and laughing. I live in a very cloudy town, but I think I appreciate the sun more than others. :) Have an amazing day.
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monsterblonde's favorite FMLs
Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML
by r1has / 09/12/2016 at 4:21am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/15/2016 at 10:08pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
by ER1C / 05/16/2016 at 8:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Wolf6661 / 03/14/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
by sydcaller618 / 11/23/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML
by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML
by quickit / 12/05/2014 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML
by anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so… Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The… Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't…