monkeyspark

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monkeyspark

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10465
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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monkeyspark's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:04am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:11pm<b>keirachuter</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:54pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:06pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:03pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:32pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:20am<b>oops6663</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:53am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:46am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:04am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:57am<b>lambda</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:47am<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:16am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:16am<b>NickPowers55</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:55pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 11:04am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:18pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:04am

monkeyspark's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of monkeyspark's badges

monkeyspark's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

by Mew / 06/04/2009 at 8:07am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

by olalala2382 / 04/02/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

by Loola / 12/21/2008 at 12:04am / Miscellaneous