monkeyspark

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monkeyspark

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10761
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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monkeyspark's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:04am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:11pm<b>keirachuter</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:54pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:06pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:03pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:32pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:20am<b>oops6663</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:53am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:46am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:04am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:57am<b>lambda</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:47am<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:16am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:16am<b>NickPowers55</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:55pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 11:04am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:18pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:04am

monkeyspark's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of monkeyspark's badges

monkeyspark's favorite FMLs

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

by Seabiscuit / 07/06/2009 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 7:20pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

by iloveZELOS / 07/05/2009 at 12:53am / United States / Money

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

by Kristache / 07/02/2009 at 4:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

by Victim / 06/27/2009 at 9:47am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

by Tom / 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

by feelinnauseous / 06/24/2009 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

by Jerf / 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

by Steph / 06/21/2009 at 8:05am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Intimacy

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

by Jessey / 06/18/2009 at 9:05am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work