monkeyspark

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monkeyspark

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10714
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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monkeyspark's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:04am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:11pm<b>keirachuter</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:54pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:06pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:03pm<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:32pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:20am<b>oops6663</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:53am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:46am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:04am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:57am<b>lambda</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:47am<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:16am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 3:16am<b>NickPowers55</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:55pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 11:04am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:18pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:04am

monkeyspark's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of monkeyspark's badges

monkeyspark's favorite FMLs

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

by whatismydadthinking / 08/06/2009 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date night down a dirt road to a field in the middle of nowhere. He packed some blankets, a bottle of wine, and some condoms. He didn't know the dirt road was actually a driveway until all of our clothes were off. FML

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML

by Azcrazy / 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm / United States / Work

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

by soembarrassed / 08/02/2009 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML

by epicfail / 08/02/2009 at 4:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

by dam01 / 08/02/2009 at 3:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

by WiltedFlower / 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

by mvp / 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

by published_anthropologist / 07/23/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Work