moniboy

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 2:45am)

moniboy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2188
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

moniboy's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of moniboy's badges

moniboy's favorite FMLs

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

by lonely girl / 07/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 10:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

by smh / 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

by confusedbagel / 06/27/2013 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

by authorx / 06/27/2013 at 12:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous