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moniboy

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 2:45am) | Search for a member

moniboy

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moniboy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (4495)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58322) - you deserved it (8157)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48916) - you deserved it (19616)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47199) - you deserved it (5082)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53900) - you deserved it (3211)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48392) - you deserved it (5005)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54118) - you deserved it (5148)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69122) - you deserved it (8120)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40405) - you deserved it (2589)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62468) - you deserved it (11729)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67707) - you deserved it (5854)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47321) - you deserved it (9360)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (3215)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

#20761131
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54078) - you deserved it (3495)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:48am - work - by grammarnazi-forareason (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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