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moniboy
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  • Number of visits : 488
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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moniboy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28067) - you deserved it (2842)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59659) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (2316)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39007) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (29051)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML

#17892282
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17170) - you deserved it (1315)

On 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18777) - you deserved it (10521)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17450) - you deserved it (43637)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

#16307773
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

#14153563
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40027) - you deserved it (4574)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

#13825222
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (4864)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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