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mominzed

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mominzed
  • Town/Country : Lusaka, Zambia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 2702
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About mominzed : If you deserve it, you deserve it!

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mominzed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51727) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while out grocery shopping together, my mom decided it was a great time to describe in vivid detail how, when she was breast feeding me, milk would pour out of her nipple piercing holes. FML

#20457723
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31689) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Gingerdoesafacepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5689) - you deserved it (17125)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

#18836857
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (3833)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (2646)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

#18632111
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6895) - you deserved it (24468)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:59am - misc - by GeriGeriBoBeri - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

#18620132
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (1929)

On 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Jessica - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (6312)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (2854)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

#18429181
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (3388)

On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17669) - you deserved it (40210)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48037) - you deserved it (5816)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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