ml_augustus

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Offline (the 09/21/2016 at 6:52pm)

ml_augustus

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Everett, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2253
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ml_augustus's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 1:38pm<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 2:33pm<b>mckenna9797</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 5:55pm<b>amitilin</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:57pm<b>jesstanothergurl</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:00am<b>thatsaxguy</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 5:43am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:40pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 3:38pm<b>kelssbo</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 10:33pm<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:54pm<b>burgermike92</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:38pm<b>SouthernMidnight</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 6:46am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 6:24am<b>Maxthomkell</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 11:56pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:54am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 3:23am<b>Ubermac</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:44am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:00am

Fucked!<b>mckenna9797</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 11:55pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:37am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:25pm

ml_augustus's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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ml_augustus's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

by Loud / 09/08/2016 at 2:07am / Australia / Work

Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML

by Hey, thats not math!? / 08/09/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part: I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

by damn you Ambien / 08/03/2016 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my straight, white, Christian stepmother greeted my black friend with, "Hey my n****a". He hasn't talked to me since. FML

by why mom / 08/02/2016 at 7:52pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

by suspended / 07/31/2016 at 11:39am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

by not a shitty situation so fuck you / 06/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

by tracy4191 / 06/13/2016 at 11:27am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, the police finally recovered my stolen car. All it took was a shootout and two people dying. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML

by jasonvanr / 05/10/2016 at 4:19am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Health

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML

by UnluckyLatina / 04/21/2016 at 11:30pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML

by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 2:24am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous