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ml_augustus

Offline (the 06/13/2015 at 11:20pm) | Search for a member

ml_augustus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 886
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ml_augustus's page activity

Visits<b>Pauschinator</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 8:58am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:59am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:00am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Joel_Morris</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:39am<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 11:14pm<b>hannahsnyder69</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:29pm<b>thewomen</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 9:55pm<b>jesstanothergurl</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 11:12pm<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:34am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 5:24pm<b>GwennaRose</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 5:32pm

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ml_augustus's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (3787)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (5869)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38445) - you deserved it (3352)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (18304)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44727) - you deserved it (3087)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (13098)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15670) - you deserved it (36261)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (2251)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (10243)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41934) - you deserved it (3964)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (6026)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (46324)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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