About miyaviichan : I like video games.
I get on FML everyday, at least twice a day.
About miyaviichan : I like video games.
miyaviichan's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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miyaviichan's favorite FMLs
Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML
by thebrokentardis / 09/22/2014 at 2:45am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML
by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy
by screwed / 08/08/2014 at 8:26am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by baebookboo / 08/04/2014 at 11:08am / United States (Kansas) / Geek
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML
by latinalocks / 06/20/2014 at 12:59am / United States / Work
Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML
by BBeffedmylife / 06/14/2014 at 10:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML
by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
- Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to… Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some… Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick…
- Today, after tossing and turning for hours trying to sleep, I finally doze off. I am then awoken by… Today, I found out im allergic to the medicine I use for nausea the side effect is throwing up, FML Today, I lost my wallet during a flight. I figured it was in a bag that I had given to an attendant…