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misterjg540

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misterjg540

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  • Number of visits : 225
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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misterjg540's page activity

Visits<b>sharklover2017</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:40am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:34am

misterjg540's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

misterjg540's favorite FMLs

2day mah vegan girlfriend openly admittd that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving mah life or an animal's. She actually seemd confusd as to why that upset me. FML

#21316969
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (3715)

On 12/13/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, My Mom Textd Me An Askd Wat I Was Up To. In Response, I Jokd, "Dancing On The Dining Room Table, Waving Dad's Calvin Klein's In The Air, An Shooting Bullets Into Her Bedroom Floor." Not Only Did The Cops Show Up, But Now I'm Groundd 4 Two Weeks 4 Being, "deceptively Believable." FML

#21314000
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (5370)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, I walked into house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and boyfriend holding dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (3460)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today , boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex . It was so out of caracter 4 im , I couldn't elp but break into ysterical laugter . FML

#21266104
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (9473)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs!! I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead!! She sent me one back!! FML

#21196202
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (26288)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today , some alarm , somewere in ma ouse , is making a low battery noise. I've cecked every smoke detector multiple times , an I can't find it. It as been ours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if te sound as just invaded ma brain. fat FML

Today... I told my grlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47844) - you deserved it (6597)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, mah friend announcd that she'd lost wieght recently. As I was congratulating her, mah baby sister said, ( I think you're still fat but that's good cuz you can give more meat to Godhen you go to heaven. ) Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (5319)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

today I finally brought a girl home from college!! While I was making her some coffee, mah roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be mah girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome!! My date left before I could explain, and mah roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious!! FML

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and trid to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormd over, said "I got this!" and puntd him over the edge. We both got thrown out fir "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (6218)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (23138)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today , I cummd home a little earlier than usual , only to walk in on mah dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from mah mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51043) - you deserved it (4851)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML

#20523671
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44830) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

TODAY, I WENT IN TO GET MA FIRST TATTOO . I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITEDEN TE DAY CAME . LONG STORY SORT, TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF "FEMALE SEX SLAVE." TE FACES MA VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS . FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (44419)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , two of mah friend condemned me for bieng "narrow-minded" , because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaid actually exist!! FML

#20185421
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (4342)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)



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