missyj0

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missyj0

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2726
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About missyj0 : hi, my name is Sam and I like things because of reasons.

missyj0's page activity

Visits<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 8:46pm<b>CX_Ashley</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:24pm<b>VonTritonIV</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:43am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:08am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:07pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:57am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:42am<b>Shrekie</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:55am<b>ethanc12</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:12pm<b>notzax</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>jason202700</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:28am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:34pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SarcasticRonin</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:12am<b>Effulgence</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:25pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm<b>metalguitarist89</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:27pm

missyj0's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of missyj0's badges

missyj0's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

by vron991 / 05/13/2012 at 1:02am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous