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missmandersxoxo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by no / 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML
by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML
by donttouchmyhair / 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
by NotInTheRightPlace / 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML
by cumbucket cops / 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
by Burning Love / 03/15/2014 at 3:35am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Seriously? / 03/09/2014 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…