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missmandersxoxo's favorite FMLs
by bananna / 05/29/2014 at 11:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by angelamegan21 / 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML
by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML
by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids
by her mom raised her / 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm / Mexico / Kids
by frustrated / 05/17/2014 at 6:11am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by iworkatofficedepothomes / 05/15/2014 at 8:02am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML
by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work