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missmandersxoxo

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missmandersxoxo
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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missmandersxoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (7477)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41629) - you deserved it (4632)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (5192)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (18189)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (15260)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (11061)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (4545)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35794) - you deserved it (4519)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41499) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (5423)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (5640)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (18139)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (7880)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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