missathegirlwond

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Offline (the 06/04/2016 at 4:00pm)

missathegirlwond

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10839
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missathegirlwond : I’m the illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity. Now neither parent admits to having me…

missathegirlwond's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:58am<b>SirFawkes</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:26am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:53am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:20am<b>kesht1996</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:05pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 6:19am<b>klenorris</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 7:25pm<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:49am<b>fallen45078</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:38am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:05pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:49am<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 1:34am<b>moonstruckwolf</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:27am<b>Language_girl97</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 12:44pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:27pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:59am

missathegirlwond's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of missathegirlwond's badges

missathegirlwond's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm / Puerto Rico / Kids

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

by Festivaler / 07/13/2013 at 3:14am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

by malicious_melons / 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

by Nicks / 07/03/2013 at 11:10am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

by strokesie / 07/03/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Ohio) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

by Forever Alone / 07/03/2013 at 12:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

by good big sister? / 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Vermont) / Kids