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Offline (the 06/06/2016 at 4:52am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 November 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 929
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About missalyssaxo : Reading FML makes me feel better about my life. I go to a wonderful university, but could bitch about every other fucked up aspect of my life.

missalyssaxo's page activity

Visits<b>Trollx</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 11:17am<b>RaNdOmIzEd2017</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 4:38am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 12:21am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 12:20am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 11:28pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 10:54pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 6:57pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 4:24pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 3:35am<b>dom_g</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 3:42am<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 8:29pm<b>ThisIsCarlJr</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 10:13am<b>jdw_17</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 10:13pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:38pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 11:39am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 1:07am<b>jmiller123</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 3:20am<b>Lars93</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 1:27pm

Fucked!<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 12:57am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:35pm<b>dipsydoo112</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:08am<b>Tenker</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 5:34am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 9:38am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 9:20am<b>mariusakke</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 2:09pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 9:27am<b>conman317</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:43am<b>jgwyh</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 9:27am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 7:50am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:38am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 4:50am<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:43pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:29am<b>AscendV</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:24pm<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:35am

missalyssaxo's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of missalyssaxo's badges

missalyssaxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML

by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

by tigerbyrn / 05/30/2016 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 1:05am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my 4 year-old grand-daughter let her pet rabbit loose in the yard, while my 2 year-old grandson was trying to climb on a chair, then a table. I had to choose between catching the rabbit before it ran under the fence, or saving my grandson from falling on the concrete terrace. FML

by arianelagolden / 05/05/2016 at 2:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML

by 12MONTHLEASE / 04/21/2016 at 8:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2016 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML

by okaydisarray / 03/22/2016 at 4:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML

by debiebs / 12/29/2015 at 7:04am / Brazil (Bahia) / Love

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

by Alien / 12/29/2015 at 6:07am / Switzerland / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my friend insisted I wear her brand new hoodie for the day. When I gave it back after a few hours, she said she just needed it stretched and couldn't find someone fatter to stretch it for her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 9:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

by Moth_Balled / 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy