Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 07/24/2015 at 2:17am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 307
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About missalyssaxo : I'm really girly and certain people say I'm shy. I love pink things and making people feel guilty. I cry at everything sad and have a great pain tolerance. I don't understand me, and neither will you, so don't take my comments too seriously.

missalyssaxo's page activity

Visits<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 10:46pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:20pm<b>furstur</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:06am<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:23am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:24pm<b>foomzy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:49pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:15pm<b>Lord_Assassinz</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:10am<b>bigjake</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:28am<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:31am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:48am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:22am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:15pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:24pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:43pm

Fucked!<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:35am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:46am<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 3:15am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:17pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:39pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 5:57am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:32am<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:35am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 6:08am<b>Kejus</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:07pm<b>jfoll25</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:07pm<b>pookie119</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:40am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:33am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:34pm

missalyssaxo's FML badges


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of missalyssaxo's badges

missalyssaxo's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10781) - you deserved it (46353)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I forbade a student in the writing seminar I instructed from continuing to present his disturbing poems about demons. He responded to this by convincing nearly every other student in the seminar to write and read out loud several of his poems. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (7504)

On 06/21/2015 at 4:42pm - work - by ihateloopholes (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2402)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (3000)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (7078)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (55606)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (2670)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (5302)

On 02/23/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by hatemebeforetheyevenhatch (woman) - United Kingdom (West Dunbartonshire)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (1914)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38375) - you deserved it (3305)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (35706)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (5949)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28066) - you deserved it (2544)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16064) - you deserved it (29465)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (2318)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: