missalkali

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Offline (the 04/19/2015 at 7:29pm)

missalkali

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1158
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

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missalkali's page activity

Visits<b>lunar999</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:57am<b>melons</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:14pm<b>mattlikesfunions</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:31pm<b>kaylajohn8133</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:50pm<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 5:56pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:44pm<b>chalkthewalls</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:14pm<b>thanazon</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:37pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:54am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:54pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:38pm<b>emmyknd123</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:08am<b>missinthebestie</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 2:25pm<b>PandaBeaar</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 6:14pm<b>isthatevenlegal</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 2:55pm<b>SnowboarderFX</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:09pm<b>noonomoon</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 5:41am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:49am

missalkali's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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missalkali's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

by Eliza / 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 2:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

by Dave B / 11/25/2011 at 1:59am / Reserved / Transportation

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

by ollie179 / 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

by skidoosh / 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

by terrible kenny / 01/30/2011 at 4:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

by jadehin / 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous