About mintyowlgirl : Hi. I like books.
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mintyowlgirl's favorite FMLs
Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard / 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 2:11am / United States (Iowa) / Money
Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML
by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 2:43am / United States / Love
by anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids
Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML
by stupidquestionsstupidpeople / 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
by Kallian / 11/09/2012 at 1:47am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
by sadmommy / 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
by John Nani / 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We… Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and… Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own…