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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
minimammoth's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love
by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by roze198765 / 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm / United States / Animals
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
by Fairymyass / 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
by emegemerald / 07/04/2011 at 12:13am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
by CAchickadee / 05/29/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML
by eringoBRA / 05/06/2011 at 10:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals
Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
by Username / 04/16/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Love
by lynn777 / 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long distance relationship and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML
- Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel… Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some…