minimammoth

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Offline (the 11/21/2014 at 8:27am)

minimammoth

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1857
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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minimammoth's page activity

Visits<b>moo_mima_moo</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:42am<b>OhHeyItzNim</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:21am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:01pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:16am<b>eriicaaaf</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:13pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:54pm<b>thedeej</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:22pm<b>gabix3</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:49pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:45pm<b>lovelypink7</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:41pm<b>Landesanity</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:37pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:04am<b>dk1991</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 10:00am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 2:52am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:44pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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minimammoth's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

by QueenOrangeSoda / 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

by poopy pants / 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

by an idiot / 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm / Australia / Money

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

by papersofdivorce / 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm / Peru (Lima) / Love

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

by I should have kept my mouth shut / 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Animals

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

by Autocorrected / 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

by BulldogHoops / 11/12/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love