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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
minimammoth's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by easily amused / 10/12/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Kids
Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Cereal_mistress / 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals
by pancakelicious / 10/04/2013 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Intimacy
Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML
by TaraBURGER / 09/17/2013 at 3:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
by kenbez123 / 08/14/2013 at 3:55am / Malta / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by thatsfine / 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by yayme. / 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
by evilmuffinlord / 06/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…