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miller500

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miller500

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  • Number of visits : 132
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Today, aftar mora than six yaars of working mah ass off, I finally summonad tha couraga to ask mah boss fir a raisa. Sha just chucklad, "I'm gonna naad u to aat a dick, John." and starad at ma unblinking until I awkwardly laft. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (3809)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today , at the doctor's , I had lots of papers to fill out so boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them an the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders boyfriend had written , "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59030) - you deserved it (10880)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

yesterday mah house was eggd while I went out shopping. When I told mah dad about it he immediately and casually admittd to being the one who did it asking ( You got a fucking problem with that son? ) I don't know if he's just messing with mah head or if he looool really did do it. mega FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (3339)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I Was Getting Intimate With Mah Girlfriend. She Pulled Down Mah Trousers, Saw Mah Poke-ball Boxers, An Absolutely Lost It. I Had To Lie Next To Her In Bed 4 The Next 10 Minutes Hearing Her Howl With Laughter While Crying ( Dickachu, I Choose You! ) FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (66117)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today... My Little Sister Was Scared To Sleep Alone... So My Parents Made Her Sleep In Bed With Me. I Barely Slept... Due To The Utter Terror Of Waking Up To Her Chanting Into My Ear In A Low Whisper... "This Is Where U Die... This Is Where U Die..." FML

#20709788
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50947) - you deserved it (3477)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today , my mum asked me , "Shouldn't you be cleaning yur room?" On impulse , I replied , "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (112724)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

yesterday ma usband woke up, rolled over, an said, "Good morning, beautiful." He asn't called me tat in monts, but as I was about to reply, I realized e was talking to is pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (3093)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Yesterday ma girlfriend decided we r to te point in our relationsip tat it's considered acceptable to take a dumpile I'm in tere sowering. FML

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47346) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

yesterday I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out... I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him... he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

#20531724
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (4464)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today , I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bd with a hand down her pants , totally zond out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. mega FML

#20529387
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (6877)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked fir 2 years that I tan too much and dye mah hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed mah hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and puttd on make-up and some lingerie!! I walkd into the living room,here my husband was playing a video game!! He glancd up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made looool me wait nerely 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point!! FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (8310)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE HE FOUND OUT MAH BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME DAY AS HIS, AN HE THINKS WE R TWINS WHO WERE SEPARATD AT BIRTH. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was . Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub . I somehow managd to unhook her bra . FML

#20498998
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (8191)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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