mijzelffan

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mijzelffan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7506
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mijzelffan's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:42pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:52pm<b>BunnyRabbit411</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:51am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 12:52pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 11:11pm<b>solidmego</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:32pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 11:06pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 8:43pm<b>tukker</b> - the 11/15/2009 at 2:02pm<b>ASHLEEBAYBEEx3</b> - the 11/04/2009 at 9:40pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 2:16pm<b>CookieJar</b> - the 07/21/2009 at 5:20pm<b>Meeeheeh</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 9:38am<b>Ajax_4ever</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 7:37am

mijzelffan's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mijzelffan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

by idiot / 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

by Anon / 07/27/2009 at 3:32am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

by Sally / 07/24/2009 at 5:04am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

by published_anthropologist / 07/23/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Work

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

by PokeTheBear / 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm / Canada / Work

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

by GabsAlot829 / 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

by DanceOnTheEdge / 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

by blackntangirl / 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy