Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

migueljm5

Search for a member

migueljm5
  • Town/Country : El Dorado Hills, CA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 March 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 214
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About migueljm5 : I am better than you.

Feel free to message me. I'm bored af

migueljm5's last visitors

soccerforlife_27LadyQuantum7omfgorlaithfoxwasalambclrichmond2009oh_your_godilovecandy2usmcfieldsironfeyTimothablissmiss17

migueljm5's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of migueljm5's badges

migueljm5's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (3666)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

#12114590
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (2703)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:22am - work - by anon - United States

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (5841)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML

#5862276
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25255) - you deserved it (1501)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I wrote a note for my crush of 2 years, expressing all my feelings for him signed it as "Forever your lover" then I slipped it into his locker. Later that day, he walked back up to me, tossed the note at me and said "You know I recognize your handwriting, right?" FML

#4865641
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35771) - you deserved it (24967)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - love - by fmynote (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

#2624268
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52784) - you deserved it (2856)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:43am - intimacy - by MBG (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

#1383069
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66199) - you deserved it (14288)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

#7546
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32329) - you deserved it (1648)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: