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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 944
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About migueljm5 : I am better than you.

Feel free to message me. I'm bored af

migueljm5's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:08pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:08pm<b>fringeisawesome</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:59pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:40pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 5:59pm<b>RandomMishaps</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 5:55pm<b>cadyshaw17</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Trevor_foy</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:55am<b>emily1015</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:25pm<b>freakyfriday101</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:47pm<b>tommytomq</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:24pm<b>DuckGirl420</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:51am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:53pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 5:46am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:14pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:42pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:08am

migueljm5's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of migueljm5's badges

migueljm5's favorite FMLs

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

by fuck you, bitchcake / 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2013 at 8:17am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

by nice one / 07/14/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Tennessee) / Holidays

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous