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midnightm16

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midnightm16

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 January 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1073
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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midnightm16's page activity

Visits<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:21pm<b>gracex3</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:18pm<b>FlyestBoy</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:14am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:19am<b>dumpless</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:57am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:45pm<b>MrSmush</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:45pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:25am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:49am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:25pm<b>trizstar</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:18pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:49pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 1:53pm<b>frostedfoster</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:27am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:56pm

Fucked!<b>trizstar</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:18am<b>bladerunner1131</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:30am

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

#4833431
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14552) - you deserved it (42237)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by diapermommy (woman) - United States

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

#4783460
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58867) - you deserved it (3214)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm - health - by fannyfitel123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46048) - you deserved it (3120)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9367) - you deserved it (95754)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

#4381633
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9684) - you deserved it (58345)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (101542)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51495) - you deserved it (16739)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72905) - you deserved it (5434)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (55117)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

#4102567
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (118229)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings and heels. When I walked out the door my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriends house I told him what my dad had said and he replied "I'd have to agree with him." FML

#3953472
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14596) - you deserved it (59112)

On 07/22/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

#3912171
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48192) - you deserved it (5904)

On 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm - misc - by fatgirl4 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, doesn't mean your mom won't walk in your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

#3838782
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (9423)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Alwayshappens2me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62583) - you deserved it (32209)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57357) - you deserved it (3034)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)



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