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midnightm16's favorite FMLs
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health
by justgreatgirl / 06/11/2010 at 7:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML
by exposed / 03/15/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
by ohemgee23 / 02/19/2010 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML
by fannylover / 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
by tattooooooface / 01/28/2010 at 8:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
by Glutton / 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML
by TattedAsian / 01/11/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
by anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by yellowjacket_34 / 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Health
Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML
by stubblebutt / 11/13/2009 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML
by noexceptions / 11/11/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…