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midnightm16's favorite FMLs
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
by ihateteenagers / 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
by lisa / 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love
by Dopeboyfresh71 / 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 2:11pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
by miiiiilk / 12/05/2010 at 6:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love
by Gemma / 11/03/2010 at 7:23am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by pathetic / 08/20/2010 at 5:51am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health
by justgreatgirl / 06/11/2010 at 7:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous