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midnightm16

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midnightm16

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  • Number of visits : 632
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18186) - you deserved it (74858)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (6713)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10385) - you deserved it (48104)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (5250)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48521) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly runs across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family that owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

#5891764
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (5138)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:40am - animals - by JC - United States (California)

Today, I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML

#5548744
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (34246)

On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)

Today, I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML

#5548744
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (34246)

On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)

Today, I received an envelope from verizon. I assumed it was my bill. I opened it and saw a visa credit card offer so I quickly snapped it in half to prevent identity theft. Only after playing with the pieces for 10 minutes did I realize that it was my $100 rebate from my new phone. FML

#5463734
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6916) - you deserved it (57164)

On 09/25/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I skipped class to take the girl I like to the airport, and after giving her a goodbye hug I kissed her on the cheek. She laughed and said "Maybe we should discuss some boundaries when I get back." FML

#5030993
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (7306)

On 09/03/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by strikeout (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML

#4895922
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34120) - you deserved it (7837)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

#4833431
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14473) - you deserved it (42092)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by diapermommy (woman) - United States

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

#4783460
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58620) - you deserved it (3197)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm - health - by fannyfitel123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45837) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (95281)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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