This member hasn't filled in their description.
midnightm16's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
midnightm16's favorite FMLs
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
by lisa / 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love
by Dopeboyfresh71 / 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 2:11pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
by miiiiilk / 12/05/2010 at 6:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love
by Gemma / 11/03/2010 at 7:23am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by pathetic / 08/20/2010 at 5:51am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health
by justgreatgirl / 06/11/2010 at 7:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML
by exposed / 03/15/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…