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midnightm16

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midnightm16

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  • Number of visits : 619
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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midnightm16's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32660) - you deserved it (3225)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (27148)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10741) - you deserved it (58795)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (17815)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (29252)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13524) - you deserved it (116907)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that even after a really bad break up and the fact that I left him for someone else, my parents offered my ex-boyfriend to join us on a one week family vacation. He agreed. FML

#11131141
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (12333)

On 06/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by justgreatgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14364) - you deserved it (32173)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

#8430950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (18388)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML

#8410028
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (2691)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by fannylover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML

#7638250
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12560) - you deserved it (34961)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:08am - misc - by tattooooooface - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

#7621878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (44644)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Glutton (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (3533)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27477) - you deserved it (3608)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom



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