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midnightm16

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midnightm16

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  • Number of visits : 613
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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midnightm16's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

#19318105
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (46389)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by George Saunders - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (5106)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (3401) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
534 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (53621)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

#18734137
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26881) - you deserved it (4522)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (35888)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

#18126766
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (2363)

On 11/01/2011 at 2:29am - health - by DirtyCharmed - United States (Washington)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
680 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (49327)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15827) - you deserved it (42852)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37319) - you deserved it (5405)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

#16432657
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35980) - you deserved it (4757)

On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML

#15129927
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14304) - you deserved it (49302)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by NoMeatFail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (5341)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -



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