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midnightm16

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midnightm16

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  • Number of visits : 618
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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midnightm16's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5494) - you deserved it (76077)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75342) - you deserved it (8805)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (1681)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

#20044589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (2416)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (3653)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39538) - you deserved it (2321)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (58472)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36763) - you deserved it (8862)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (1762)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (2757)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (12491)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

#19415450
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10873) - you deserved it (25522)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16578) - you deserved it (3986)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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