This member hasn't filled in their description.
midnightm16's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
midnightm16's favorite FMLs
Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML
by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML
by katt_is_here / 10/06/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Ggirl / 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Iskylite / 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML
by verbaltodomestic / 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
by fuck my arse / 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Intimacy
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I got home from a double shift to find my husband in bed with my sister. Also, I found out I… Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. We've been dating for 3 months, I'm 16, he's 17. I felt too bad… Today, I saved up enough money to get my phone fixed because the screen had broke. Excited leaving…