michellenKG

Search for a member

michellenKG

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1011
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 16 posted

About michellenKG : fubk

michellenKG's page activity

Visits<b>vsinha</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 8:31am<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:29am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Abbie4572</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 9:35am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:43pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Raltizal</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:09pm<b>Ice_Cold_Llama</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:10am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:38pm<b>meggieeeee92</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:59am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:24pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 1:14am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:40pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:46am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:20pm

michellenKG's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of michellenKG's badges

michellenKG's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

by IHateGroupProjects / 04/25/2012 at 9:25am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

by Cass / 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

by meet Chloe / 02/19/2012 at 4:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

by michellenKG / 01/23/2012 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

by Julez / 01/14/2012 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous