michaelaranda

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michaelaranda

50Fucked!

  • Town/Country : San Francisco, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5192
  • Number of comments : 208
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About michaelaranda : Im Brian and im from the bay area. Message me if you want to.

Also, if i landed on your profile, i pressed the "fucks" button, regardless of who you are.

michaelaranda's page activity

Visits<b>JETarchitect</b> - yesterday at 5:28pm<b>Grace0328</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 11:48pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 1:40am<b>Snakemilk</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 8:55pm<b>benjus</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 10:45pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 12:11am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:00pm<b>dougschoonmaker</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:07am<b>mfmylifesrsly</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:30am<b>leslieshrader</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 7:18pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:20am<b>dixie3483</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:39am<b>Hyacinth_shmily</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:34am<b>SquidJeezy</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Caynicwit</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:47pm<b>mindy_stewart8</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 12:20pm<b>janfleury</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 11:58am

Fucked!<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 6:16am<b>Snakemilk</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 2:55am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:00pm<b>dixie3483</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:39am<b>mindy_stewart8</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 6:20pm<b>dinosarefriends</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:20pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:33pm<b>yoshi061</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>vriskahs8</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:09pm<b>kkkiiitttyyy</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twister45</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:09am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:40pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:23pm<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:05pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:12pm

michaelaranda's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of michaelaranda's badges

michaelaranda's favorite FMLs

Today, after three years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed. To my best friend. FML

by neverdatingagain / 11/27/2016 at 5:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

by Pissy / 11/27/2016 at 3:15pm / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending me flowers that said, "I just need some space, forever. I hope I never see you again, even if you were a great person. It's not you it's me." FML

by PinkMonkeys / 11/23/2016 at 1:33pm / Love

Today, I was walking to a bathroom on campus before class when my professor walked in behind me. There were two urinals in the bathroom, we walked right up next to each other and unzipped our pants in unison. It became so awkward for me, I actually said out loud, "Nope, too awkward" and left. FML

by beetregeneration / 11/16/2016 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

by HereForJAMMF / 11/09/2016 at 12:50pm / Love

Today, it's been three days since I told this guy I liked him and he told me he liked me. It's also been three days since he contacted me. So, I called his phone and I was told by someone that they were attributed that number three days ago. I think it's safe to say the feelings weren't mutual. FML

by myfuturelover / 11/03/2016 at 11:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

by HeadStillHurts / 10/26/2016 at 7:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, without thinking, I casually advised my mum that the best way to get the piping nozzle clean is to 'fingerfuck' it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2016 at 4:31am / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

by cheekymonkey97 / 10/24/2016 at 12:48pm / Intimacy

Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an extent that customers were starting to hate me." FML

by trollbot13 / 10/24/2016 at 5:39am / India (Andhra Pradesh) / Work

Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his muscles as my anniversary gift. FML

by Lucachoo / 10/21/2016 at 1:16am / Love

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

by The_Life / 10/12/2016 at 9:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Geek

Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML

by amandanoelle / 10/09/2016 at 2:42am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML

by Ughhhhh / 10/03/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

by wasp infestation / 10/03/2016 at 12:54am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous